Wishes

"I should want someone who God wants, not who I want"
- Mr Yeong

Amazing how small chats just start to touch your heart, and it touches the deepest corner of your heart. I was just chatting with a good friend of mine awhile ago, about what our wishes are. So I began talking about, sitting down at a balcony, sipping milk and staring at the stars being one of my top wishes. And we chatted. Then through the conversation, he said that. It really just set me thinking, whether the people I want are the people God wants. Are the things I wish for the things pleasing to God?

It really got me thinking hard, about my wishes in life. Are they based on my own desires? Or are they solely based on the perspective of living my life as a worship for God? I can only say, Thank you Lord, for allowing me to think it through. We also talked about, how we must face this as we grow up.

But growing up doesnt mean we become any smarter, nor become any better, nor any braver. It simply means being more responsible of your life, holding your life more tightly for yourself.

"Being brave is not being more courageous to face challenges, but it is admitting your weaknesses and pain, and not running away from them anymore."
- Mr Yeong

Indeed indeed!

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Had a really really bad week, including today. I went for every training, and yeah, it was really really tiring, one of the most tiring weeks I ever experienced in track. Things are not going well, I'm hitting really bad timings, not meeting up to my usual standards and lastly, getting back to an injury state. Really really frustrated. It really feels like no matter how much effort I put into every training, I'm not improving.

This is probably one of the tough moments an athlete must face, and I know its the moment that decides which way I head as an athlete. I'm really tired and afraid that I won't make it for next year's nationals. The feeling of watching my friend's improve, while I remain stagnant, and injured, totally ugh. Its not one of jealousy though, just more of anger and resentment towards myself, towards my own body.

And I'm facing the risk of another injury, right at the time when I need to train and buck up. I just want to train and train, no matter how tiring it is, but it seems that my body is unable to, considering that I just recovered a month back.

I need God more than ever now, and I will depend on Him. I will trust that He will be there no matter what happens, at least thats what I want to do.

I want to train

The holidays are so filled with many many things, I cant catch my breath. I want to train, but there is simply no time, and Im feeling really vexed about it. I'm afraid that my stamina will drop, that my speed will decrease, that I cannot make it for next year's national competition.

I really want to train, like right now. I really pray that even though I lack a little time to train as compared to others, everything will go well. Cant stand it right now, how irritating it is when there are so many things blocking me from training.

Please! God will make a way, help me remember that.

Holidays? What holidays?

Yep, except for not going to school and doing homework, everything practically remains the same for me during the holidays as compared to during school days. And I'm not saying its bad! Its wonderful in a way, where I can go ahead and occupy myself with things I love to do!

Just that some assignments and events I'm attending are giving me a little pressure. I know I must not be worried for the future, but my sec 3 options just keep coming back to worry me time and time again. GRR, IM NOT GOING TO THINK ABOUT THAT. NVM.

I pray that tmr's event would be carried out just fine! Its a model united nations event, the first I am going to attend, and hopefully I will enjoy it!

One thing bothering me alot is about track. I'm not being jealous or what, just that I get a little bit upset when my seniors who have not been training very hard come back and win me. I understand that Im not in the liberty of saying that they did not train hard, but from what I see, while I was training and running my hearts out, they were not there with me. And when they come back, they win me with ease.

Urghhh, it just makes me feel that the effort I put into training is a little useless. But no matter what, I'm just going to train and work hard, and know that everything will work out somehow.

An amazing quote I saw!

It is only a waste of time if you make it a waste of time.

- My Assistant Director in school

IF I HAD 1 WISH

If I had 1 wish, I would really wish for more time in a single day. Cant believe how much Im rushing for things after exams.

Absolutely no Title for This

My exams are finally over! And ITS. ITS....

Nope, not slacking time yet. Lots of things to do! Hahaha, totally unexpected but yeah. I have a council event going on and many things to plan for, and probably the most important thing, training.

Yup, training. Its Friday and I just attended the first training session AFTER A LONG BREAK. 4 Months ._. Not really encouraging. And Im not that spurred on either. I cannot afford to lose my form, to lose everything I worked so hard for, but I know He is here for me!

Today was awesome, I experienced another inspirational moment, from my very own senior. Just seeing him run and running with him, a surge of fear just came momentarily to me. I realised how much I have deproved, not saying that I should have won him, but even my mentality has paled in comparison to a few months back.

I need the strong will I once had back. And I will find it back. Definitely. I'm also quite worried about my injury coming back, and my leg is starting to hurt as well. I really just hope it is post-sports soreness, and not the injury I spent 4 months healing.

ALL THE WAY.

HEY AND YOU KNOW WHAT. I SPOTTED SOMETHING AWESOME.














I took 10 minutes and had to ask my classmate. WAHHAHA.